Many creatives live in an either/or universe. Either I get to be myself OR I get to be accepted. We've all gone through the struggle and it didn't stop at high school. Many a creative has just said, to hell with it! And decided to be themselves, even if they were considered weird. This piece is for those of you still trying to "fit in," and feeling the unhappiness that brings.
The either/or dilemma creates a split. The authentic feels unacceptable, so you water it down and become who you think others can deal with. Meanwhile, your unhappiness grows stronger. Unhappiness is directly related to authenticity. When you are not who you are meant to be int eh world (and expressing that without fear) you will feel the inner pressure as your being reacts to restriction! Creative people are here to change the world in some way and this will make you stand out. If you struggle with chronic unhappiness you may be pretzeling into unnatural postures. To begin, are you still trying to conform to the norms around you?
For Creatives, conformity deadens happiness.
This is the same struggle that has repeated itself through grade school and beyond - the struggle to fit in. Most of us get the message in youth that we need to fit in and support a status quo social environment. We learn early that if we present certain character traits - like fussy Tammy- we will repel others and they won't want to play with us. Replace the word fussy with, bold, eager, funny, adventurous, quiet, whatever. We ALL get censored some where along the way, in the everyday process called socialization.
But creatives have different wiring, (which is why you are creative.) Many of the reasons why you are creative is your ability to inhabit different points of view, BE outside the box or social norms, embody characteristics which are outside the norm for your social group, etc. This is because you are visionary, a quality you use to change the world - but we can't change something we are blind to, can we? So the creative dances "between" social norms and routinely offends the norm with you off-putting oddness at times.
So to fit in, you do a little pretzeling of self and get yourself uncomfortably squeezed into the social box people approve of and "forget" the boldness, sensitivity, outspokenness, internal wisdom or whatever trait you were trying to hide in order to fit in!
The emotional symptoms of being 'pretzeled' include: irritation, frustration, sadness, depression, low self-esteem, a feeling of suffocation in your being because too much of YOU is being squeezed by convention.
Your SECRET POWERS lead to a happier YOU
Secret powers are qualities you've earned as a being (that others may or may not have attained.) One of the ways to heal and jump yourself out of constriction is to recognize the hidden self as a secret power you've been denying - one which could save the world if you let it out. And it's YOURS. You came in with it. It may be befuddling - bewildering, misunderstood at times but trust me when I tell you it IS, a power and you would not be hiding it if you didn't already sense this.
You may have the hidden power of VISION: to see things before they've been created. You don't look at "what is" you envision what's possible. Or maybe you have the power of TRUTH that leads you to say the one thing that can bring a change to an organization (or family.)
Could you have the power of COURAGE, the warrior self, that engages life fearlessly? Remember, life is full of "worriers" but you bring a pure energy of "warriors" that transmutes fear, and the people who are lucky enough to be around you know it.
Perhaps you bring the hidden power of DIPLOMACY that has people eating out of your hand, charmed and bewitched, or the power of WISDOM that allows you to magically differentiate between options and intuitively choose the best things. This power leave those around you amazed by how much trouble you avoid!
The options are endless for the powers you possess but in order to claim them, you can't be goodie two shoes or cookie-cutter to convention. Other people are indeed watching you and may see you as different, so enjoy that!
Your being wants to be fulfilled. It wants YOU on all cylinders. It was full freedom to move about the world, provoking change and visionary growth.
Make yourself happy.
Let yourself out of the box!
Embrace those powers. Make a list of them now. They may surprise you.
Give voice to the part you thought would repel people and find the power in its original intent. This is what secret powers are all about. The most amazing thing is, when you realize the the powers hiding in your psyche, you name them and give them a face in the world, they stop pestering you or hindering you. Suddenly you'll say, "Oh! I'm a dashing adventurer who likes to live boldly and discover the new (even though that quality made your 6th grade math teacher mad because you were too restless to sit through math class. ) When you recover the value and see how the world NEEDS your adventuring spirit, you'll speak fondly of that part and say, " how could I have travelled around the world after college without you?"
Miracles await. Unbox your genius, in all its weirdness and glory. See the happiness your secret power brings!
Get more insight at www.tamarachilds.com
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