3 Common Mistakes Empaths Make
Mistake #1 Misconstruing other people’s issues as yours
One of the most pressing issues I see with sensitives is a confusion that comes from empathy. As an empath myself, I too experience the blurry lines between having a compassionate heart and taking on stuff that simply doesn’t belong to me. This is the empath’s challenge.
Particularly in personal situations, sensitives must make subtle distinctions between what’s “theirs” vs. what belongs to another. This is due to the fact many empaths merge when they care. When we care about another person we open our own energy to their influence. Additionally, empaths have the psychic ability to feel what others feel. Often without realizing it, we then “merge” with those we care about through our ability to sense their emotions.
Mistake #2 Thinking you must FIX other people’s issues
Empaths can be determined "fixers," especially if they grew up in alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional homes. The empathic child blames herself for being neglected, and want to fix "what's wrong with her," so she can finally receive the love that's been missing. Since the issue has never been, "what's wrong" with her, but rather being raised in emotional deprivation, the empath can try to “fix” what wasn’t hers in the first place! Empaths also feel the emotional deficits in their caregivers and imagine that it is their own issue, rather than realizing their own parent has the issue.
The empath will beat herself up about a longstanding “self esteem” issue and wonder“why” it was still operational in her adult life. “I’ve worked on this for years!” she laments. “It shouldn’t affect me at this point in my life.” She's referring to a deep feeling of shame which has haunted her since childhood, based on having an unavailable parent. When the feeling is being triggered currently, she feels the futility of trying to fix it. I might ask this empath to use a simple technique to see if the shame is actually hers. Immediately she'll notice it wasn't! (One reason she can’t fix it.)
Mistake #3 Believing you have to heal the world
First, let’s consider the human condition is one in which we naturally share common feelings and issues. We all swim in a vast social soup called the collective consciousness, where we are literally sharing each other’s stories. So much so, that we often can’t distinguish between thoughts and feelings that originate with us, vs what we feel from others. Add the extra sensitivity of empaths, and this feeling of wanting to do major rescuing is magnified!
The ramifications are significant. Many a migraine headache has its origins in the stress of trying to heal (or block out) others' pain from our awareness. (Copy this to other physical issues!) But let me ask, what if your real purpose in life is to live joyfully, explore, expand and thrive? Secondly, what if that is itself the healing the world requires?
These 3 mistakes are common, and require just a simple shift in perception. There are other important reasons behind these three mistakes. Empaths actually have a psychic skill set they haven’t yet acknowledged. Once you truly understand how you're built, you can tap into the power within.
I’d love to know if these 3 mistakes are familiar to you as a sensitive? Please comment below and share your experience, questions, and struggles!
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